hi baby girl, it’s been a little while since i’ve written to you. you have been keeping me busy! you are starting to stand on your own & trying to climb. your curiosity & smiles are contagious. i very much enjoy watching you explore the world & discover things. to see the way you light up at everything is a simple reminder that children are the most precious gift from God. it is indescribable & something i never imagined i’d enjoy to the extent that i do. last night you were asleep in my arms & all of a sudden you sat straight up, eyes wide open & start looking around. & then you giggled, hair sticking straight up, drool running down your chin & the smile that found it’s way to my face was one i couldn’t wipe away. not even today. we played & rolled around until you fell asleep back in my arms & i didn’t want to put you down. i held you, just rocking & taking you in. the feeling of you cradled in my arms, like a puzzle piece. your duck fluff tickling my arm & your breath warming my skin. i could hold you forever. & after i crept back into your room & placed you in your crib for the night, i found an unexpected blog post that i immediately knew i wanted to share with you. i wanted to save it for when you’re ready to hear it but it moved me so much i am posting it here. i hope that the author from we seek joy realizes how much her words mean to me. i believe this completely sums up how i feel about love & marriage & it is exactly what i hope that you find someday baby girl, for yourself. please visit the we seek joy blog & follow her words. {the following is taken word for word & in no way my writing. it simply verbally expresses how i feel in a way that i only wish i could. thank you}
A love letter to my daughter on the eve of five years.
Loving your dad senselessly, without hesitation has been the the most rewarding, worthwhile decision I have ever made.
I have a lot of hopes for you, little one.
Number one being that you will be a woman who loves herself. I beg you to love yourself completely, without regard. There is no shame in confidence. So much of my life was wasted with me neglecting the relationship I had with myself. Hardships will not be easier, but they will surely be lighter if you decide early on to release yourself from the shackles of self-hate. Self-love breeds self-respect, and will in turn attract those who do the same for themselves. Don’t forget to belong to yourself, first.
Another thing I pray for often is the person you will find to love in your lifetime. And I just hope they are a fraction of the human being your dad is. Find someone who ignites that self-love, never someone who dims it. A healthy marriage is comprised of two whole humans, not two halves.
Find someone who loves you well. Someone who never belittles you. Even in the heat of an argument. Someone who is gentle with you, but does not treat you like you are fragile. Someone who knows what you are capable of, and celebrates those pieces of you. Not someone who is intimidated by your strength. Someone who can call you out for being a brat, but doesn’t make you feel guilty for being flawed. It is not love’s job to punish you. And remember the person you love is just as broken as you are when they fall short. No one is perfect – do not hold them to this standard. Find someone who is patient, forgiving, and apologetic. Someone who practices forgiveness freely and often. Love someone who is humble, kind, and empathetic. Not only with you, but with a beggar on the street, or a stranger in the supermarket. Common courtesy is important. Compassion is important. Kindness is important.
Marry someone who is driven and hardworking. Someone who optimistically supports and uplifts you in regards to your goals. Someone who will do things that do not thrill them, simply to enrich you. Marry someone who is honest. Honest with you, with others, and with themselves. Deceit will benefit no one. You cannot love someone you do not trust. Find someone who willingly shares responsibility. Someone who doesn’t expect you to adhere to silly gender roles. You will be a team in every single sense. Find someone you cherish togetherness with. And someone who understands the importance of alone time. Someone who values your opinion. Someone with a willingness to learn. A person with an open mind. Ignorance is never attractive. Find someone who makes it easy to feel grateful. For everything. Someone who serves you. And someone you want to serve, without reward.
Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times.
Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute – even when the waters get deep, and dark. Do not settle for second best. This sort of love is out there. And I hope you have the courage to start over, and try again until you have found it. This love is worth it, baby girl.
Throughout your life, I want you to be sure that I love your father. Wildly. Effortlessly. Thoroughly.
And I know wholeheartedly that that love is reciprocated.
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